Perdicus or Xena?
by SlytherinWarriorSlayer
Summary: Gabrielle has to chose between loving Perdicas and loving Xena. Wedding. Death. Kisses. Happiness. Sadness. TW: Attempted Suicide, Nothing graphic. Set during Season 2, my take on how they got together.


**A/N: I got writer's block so I couldn't think of how to continue my Clexa story. I wrote this a few years ago, found it recently and decided to type it up and upload it to try and get over that. I will update my Clexa story soon.**

 **Some parts of this story are taken from episodes but modified.**

Xena and Gabrielle were in the woods talking, not far away from their camp, where Perdicas was sleeping. "What about us Gabrielle?" Xena asked.

"I don't know Xena" Gabrielle answered.

"I thought we had something between us."

"We do. I just don't know what that something is exactly."

"Remember when you got turned into a Bacchae and you bit me?"

"Yeah."

"Didn't you feel something as you bit me? I did…it was amazing, sensual. Don't tell me you didn't feel anything." Xena placed her hand on Gabrielle's cheek.

"Yeah, I felt…something. I think I might be attracted to you, but I love Perdicas."

I love you, give us a try before you decide who to be with. You didn't want to be with him when you left Poteidaia." Xena leaned forward slowly, giving Gabrielle plenty of time to move away, and gently kissed her. Gabrielle kissed her back and it turned passionate, causing Gabrielle to moan. They parted when they needed air. "See, your body reacts to my touch."

"What do you mean?"

"You're aroused. I can smell you" Xena whispered into Gabrielle's ear, causing her to blush.

"I can't believe you just said that!" Xena just smirked at her. "Well my body may react to you, but it also reacts to Perdicas."

"Let me show you how much I love you." Xena's voice was husky and filled with desire. She started kissing Gabrielle's neck. Gabrielle pushed Xena away from her. "Sorry."

Gabrielle sighed and shook her head. "I'm tired and I haven't decided yet. I'll tell you when I have." She kissed Xena on the cheek and went back to camp. She lay down on her bed roll, a few minutes later she heard a loud splash. Gabrielle laughed quietly and closed her eyes to join Perdicas in sleep land.

Xena had jumped into a cold lake. "That woman is going to kill me" Xena muttered to herself. She stayed in the lake for a while longer, then got out, got dressed and went back to camp. She lay down and went to sleep.

The next morning Gabrielle woke up to swords clashing. She opened her eyes to see Xena and Perdicas sword fighting. She jumped up out of bed and separated the fight. "Stop it! Both of you stop!" Gabrielle yelled. "Give me your weapons."

Perdicas handed Gabrielle his sword and Xena followed suit. "Your chakram." Xena gave Gabrielle her chakram. "I'll take this too." Gabrielle took Xena's breast dagger out of her armour. As she did Xena purred at her and raised an eyebrow. Gabrielle just ignored her. "Who started it?"

"Xena did" Perdicas told her.

"Is that true Xena?" Gabrielle questioned.

"Yeah" Xena mumbled.

"Perdicas, sit there and don't move till I say so" Gabrielle ordered, angrily. Perdicas sat down on the rock that Gabrielle had pointed at. "Xena come with me."

"No" Xena said defiantly.

"Now!" Gabrielle grabbed the front of Xena's armour and dragged her away from Perdicas, so he couldn't hear them. "Why did you start fighting him?"

"The winner would get you."

"I'm not a trophy!"

"We know that."

"Was it a fight to the death?"

"No." Gabrielle walked back over to Perdicas and Xena followed her.

"I haven't decided who I'm going to be with and you two need to get along. I want you both to be ok with whoever I choose. So I'm going to let you fight out your aggravation. But fight fair and Xena you're only getting your sword."

Gabrielle gave them their swords back and they moved to a safe distance away from Gabrielle. They fought, both trading blows, parrying and deflecting them. Eventually Xena got the upper hand and beat Perdicas. Xena helped him up and they sheathed their swords. "Got that out of your systems?" Gabrielle asked.

"Yeah" "Yes" Xena and Perdicas answered at the same time. As Perdicas walked off to his rucksack, Gabrielle turned to Xena.

"I've made up my mind Xena…I'm going to marry Perdicas." Gabrielle squeezed her hand, Xena was visibly upset by the news, but accepted her decision. They went over to Perdicas, Xena sat down near them and Gabrielle knelt in front of Perdicas. "I want to marry you." Perdicas was delighted at the news and kissed Gabrielle chastely. Xena had to look away from them to stop herself from gagging.

They attached their bags to Argo's saddle and made their way out of the camp. They travelled to Poteidaia, where Gabrielle and Perdicas would get married, and met Joxer on the way. Once they were there, Gabrielle went to her parents' house and told her family the good news. Her mom got out a wedding dress that she had bought for her, when she had become betrothed to Perdicas before leaving with Xena a few years ago. She put it on and they all made their way to the temple to meet Perdicas and his family.

Perdicas made his way to the altar and stood in front of it with the priest. The guests went inside and got seated. Gabrielle stood outside with Xena. "I can't do this without your blessing" Gabrielle told Xena.

"Honestly I'm hurt that you chose him over me...but I want you to be happy. So if this makes you happy, then I give you my blessing" Xena told her. Xena pressed a soft kiss to Gabrielle's cheek and smiled sadly at her before going inside the temple.

Gabrielle went into the temple, met Joxer and walked down the isle with him. Joxer gave her away to Perdicas and took his seat. Xena was sitting in the front row, watching the woman she loves marry someone that wasn't her and her heart felt like it was being torn to pieces. She couldn't focus on what the priest was saying, but the ceremony seemed to take hours for it to be over and when it finally was she was relieved because she could leave.

Everyone exited the temple and threw rice over the couple as they left. Xena started to walk away from the temple, ready to leave, but Gabrielle went after her. "Aren't you staying for the party?" Gabrielle asked to Xena's back. Xena turned around and Gabrielle could see the tears in her eyes.

"I don't think I could stand to be there. It would hurt too much." Xena answered, voice cracking.

"I'm sorry Xena, I didn't want to hurt you" Gabrielle apologised, cupping her face in her hand. Gabrielle kissed Xena chastely. "Don't forget me."

"I won't remember anything else." Xena briefly hugged her before leaving to get Argo.

"Gabrielle, you ready to go?" Perdicas asked loudly. Gabrielle walked to him and took his hand. She looked back at Xena, who had untied Argo from the post and they waved goodbye. Gabrielle went off with Perdicas to his home, where their wedding party would be held.

Xena and Joxer started their journey and went back into the woods. "Where are you going now?" Joxer asked.

"The underworld" Xena answered.

"What why?" Joxer pulled on Xena's wrist to get her to face him and stop walking.

"Because I can't be with Gabrielle."

"Yeah you can."

"Not the way I want to be. I want to be able to hold her, kiss her, hug her, make love to her, comfort her, be there for her, show her how much I love her and be with her for eternity but I can't because she chose Perdicas." Xena's tears had finally fallen down her cheeks and her voice was shaky.

"I haven't seen you cry before, you must really love her."

"Yeah, I do."

"If you love her, you won't do this. She'd be really upset if you die."

"She doesn't need me, she has Perdicas." She continued on her journey. Joxer stayed still for a moment, thinking and then caught up to her.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to jump off a cliff. No one gets the satisfaction of killing me."

Joxer ran back to Poteidaia to find Gabrielle, as fast as she could. He ran to Perdicas' house and barged in through the front door. Joxer made his way through the party crowd looking for Gabrielle. Gabrielle was in Perdicas' bedroom with him.

"If we ever have a daughter, do you think we could name her…?" Gabrielle started to ask.

"Xena? I wouldn't have it any other way" Perdicas interrupted. They kissed for a moment and then parted.

"Whoa." Gabrielle looked at Perdicas weird.

"What?"

"You have Xena's head." Gabrielle was very confused. She shook her head and he looked normal again.

"Why?"

"I don't know. Let's try again." They kissed again and when they parted, Gabrielle jumped back in surprise. "It happened again."

"Look Gab, maybe you made the wrong choice. Maybe you should be with Xena, you're thinking about her when we kiss and you're even picturing me as her. You want her not me."

"But I love you."

"Obviously you love her more. It's ok you should go to her."

"But you're my husband, I can't just leave you."

"Of course you can. I don't want you to be unhappy, and Xena makes you happier than I do. It's ok, I'll get an annulment." Gabrielle hugged Perdicas tightly.

"What are we going to tell everyone?"

"I'll deal with them, you go and find her."

"Thank you Perdicas."

Just then, Joxer burst into the room. "Gabrielle! Xena's going to kill herself!"

"What?" Gabrielle asked.

"She's going to jump off a cliff."

"Why?"

"She's depressed over you choosing Perdicas."

"I've got to find her!" Gabrielle turned to Perdicas. "I've got to go."

"So go, I'll be ok" Perdicas replied.

Gabrielle and Joxer left the house through the back door and went in the direction that Xena had gone in. They quickly found Xena's and Argo's trail, it didn't take long for Gabrielle to find Xena standing on the edge of a cliff. She was talking to Ares, the god of war and crying.

"Don't do this Xena, be my warrior queen" Ares requested.

"No. Gabrielle was my everything. My light in this dark miserable world and now she's not in my life" Xena replied.

"Xena!" Gabrielle called. Xena turned to face Gabrielle.

"Gabrielle? Is that you?" Xena asked. Her vision was heavily blurred by the tears streaming down her face.

"I'm here Xena. Please don't jump." Gabrielle walked closer to her best friend, looking straight at her and ignoring Ares.

"Why not? You're going to be living with Perdicas and you're married to him."

"We're getting an annulment." Gabrielle moved closer to Xena.

"What? You literally just got married."

"I know. It's complicated, but I need you in my life Xena. I can't live without you. Where you go, I go remember? Come away from the edge and I'll explain it to you."

Xena walked over to Gabrielle slowly, unsure. "You're just saying that to stop me from jumping."

"No, I'm not." Xena shook her head and went towards the edge of the cliff, before Gabrielle grabbed her wrist and stopped her in her tracks. She walked in front of Xena and looked into her eyes, making sure Xena was listening. "Let me finish. I was with Perdicas and we were kissing on his bed. When we parted I saw your head in place of his and I couldn't stop thinking about you. Perdicas told me I should be with you and he's right. I love him, but it's clear to me now, I love you more. Xena, I'm _in love_ with you."

"I'm in love with you too." Xena leaned down and kissed Gabrielle lovingly. Gabrielle kissed back and it turned passionate. Ares realised he lost and vanished into thin air. When Xena and Gabrielle finally parted, they had big grins on their faces.

"Don't kill yourself, promise?"

"Promise." They walked back to Poteidaia and went to Gabrielle's home. Perdicas informed them, that he had got the annulment and left. Then Gabrielle explained everything to her family before going to the nearby inn to spend the night. Xena and Gabrielle wanted some space to be alone. They put their bags, weapons and armour on the table in the room. Xena took off her leather dress, leaving her corset and under clothes. Gabrielle took off her top and skirt leaving her in her under clothes.

They got into bed, leaving a gap between them. Xena faced the ceiling and Gabrielle faced the wall the bed was against. "Gabrielle?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you…uh…did you and Perdicas…"

Gabrielle rolled over to face Xena. She turned Xena's head so she was looking at her. "No we didn't. I kept thinking about you, so I couldn't. I'm still a virgin."

"You are?"

"Yeah and I'll lose it with you…as soon as we're married."

"M-married? You didn't say anything about marriage." Xena was freaking out.

"I told you before, I won't have sex until I'm married."

"I know, I just thought it might have changed."

"No it hasn't. Do you have a problem with being married?"

"You know how I feel about marriage."

"Oh right yeah. You're afraid of commitment. You think marriage is stupid and pointless."

"I'm not afraid of anything." Xena was obviously lying. "I just don't think marriage is all that important."

"Well I won't have sex with you. I'll make love with you if we're married."

"Have sex, make love what's the difference?"

"Having sex is meaningless and you do it with anyone. Making live is meaningful and you only do it with the person you want to spend eternity with. There's a bunch of other stuff I can't be bothered to explain to you right now. Good night." Gabrielle turned back over to face the wall and closed her eyes to go to sleep. Xena cuddled up to Gabrielle and wrapped her arm around her waist.

"Night Gabrielle, I love you."

"I love you too." They went to sleep and dreamt terrible things. Xena dreamt that she was a warlord again and she crucified Gabrielle. As the nails were being hammered into Gabrielle's hands, Xena woke up with a jolt, sweat covering her skin. "Xena…Xena…no Xena…XENA!"

Xena shook Gabrielle gently, trying to wake her from her nightmare. "Come back to me Gabrielle, It's just a bad dream." She whispered into her ear and kissed her on the cheek. Gabrielle slowly opened her eyes and kissed Xena soundly.

"That was scary."

"The kiss?"

"No that was amazing. The dream I just had, it was so real. You were fighting Ares and about 20 soldiers at the same time. You killed his men but Ares killed you. He stabbed you in the chest, then chopped off your head."

"It was just a dream, it won't happen."

"It was my fault. I got you killed. He said if he can't have you, no one will."

"Look at me…" Xena told her and lifted Gabrielle's head to look into her eyes. "Even if we weren't together, I would never be with him. So it wouldn't be your fault. It won't happen anyway. Ares won't kill me." Xena hugged Gabrielle tightly and murmured. "I won't leave you."

 **7 Weeks Later**

Xena and Gabrielle's relationship grew and they got closer over the 7 weeks they had been together. However things went horribly wrong when Xena died saving a little girl. Gabrielle was devastated and tried to save her by taking her to Mount Nestos but Xena didn't want to be saved. Eventually Xena got her body back from the Amazons by possessing Autolycus and Gabrielle went after them.

Xena used her new spirit abilities and allowed Gabrielle to see her in their own little dimension. "Gabrielle it's me. I'm not dead" Xena confirmed.

"Xena" Gabrielle croaked through tears, so thankful and happy that Xena was still there with her.

"At least not completely."

"Why? Why did you leave? There are so many things I want to say to you." Xena raised her hand to stop Gabrielle from saying anymore, while she was inhabiting Autolycus' body. It didn't seem right to have that conversation while she was.

"Gabrielle…you don't have to say a word." Xena had a bittersweet smile curving her lips. She knew exactly what Gabrielle was thinking, she could hear her thoughts. A privilege of being deceased. "We don't have much time. I need to get to the Ambrosia, otherwise I will be gone."

"Xena, I can't lose you again." Gabrielle was on the verge of crying again at the mere thought of it.

"Gabrielle, I'll always be here" Xena promised as she slowly leaned towards Gabrielle. They kissed gently, not able to resist the need. When Gabrielle pulled away however, she was back in the real world and kissing Autolycus. They both felt extremely awkward and quickly pulled away.

"Well…I hope you two worked things out" Autolycus told her.

"We did. Thank you. I mean that" Gabrielle confirmed.

"Oh, certainly…whatever's necessary. I'm here for you both."

"Autolycus."

"Yeah?"

"Get your hand off my butt."

"Oh," Autolycus laughed awkwardly, stepping away from Gabrielle. "Can you imagine?" Xena took control of Autolycus' arm and punched him in the face, causing him to fall on the floor. With control of his body back, Autolycus got up and walked away from Gabrielle to talk to Xena semi privately. "This is not helping our working relationship."

"Keep your hands off her!" Xena warned.

"You put it there!" Autolycus defended.

"Well you kept it there!" Xena countered.

"Ok, I'm sorry."

"Just remember she's my girlfriend."

"I know ok. Besides I'm not interested in her like that."

Once everything was over and Xena was back in her own body, Xena was sitting on a rock, sharpening her sword. Gabrielle walked over and sat next to her, resting her head on her shoulder. "Xena."

"Yeah?"

"Promise that you'll never die on me again."

"Oh. I promise." A Promise Xena unknowingly breaks later.

"You know, for a few moments, I knew what it was like to be you."

"And?"

"It was warm, friendly, loving…"

"Gabrielle, it was a fight."

"I felt protected. Just don't ever leave me again."

"I don't plan to and I'm sorry I did."

"You have nothing to be sorry for…how did you know what I wanted to say in the dream world?"

"The dead can hear your thoughts when you think about them, remember?" They were silent for a few minutes.

"I need to tell you something" They said at the same time.

"You go first" Xena insisted.

"I want to make love with you soon. I don't care if we're married. I don't want to lose you again and not have done that with you" Gabrielle told her, lifting her head so she could look Xena in the eyes. Xena got a big grin on her face and chuckled to herself. "What?"

"You'll find out."

"Ok…what did you want to say?"

Xena knelt in front of Gabrielle and took her hands into her own. "Will you marry me?" Xena proposed.

"Yes!" Gabrielle laughed. Gabrielle pulled her in for a big hug. They pulled away and Xena kissed Gabrielle lovingly. They poured everything they were feeling into the kiss. Gabrielle pecked Xena on the cheek and went over to the bedrolls and sat down. Xena went over to Argo and got a box out of her saddle back, then joined her on their bedrolls.

Xena handed the box to Gabrielle and she pulled out an Amazon betrothal necklace. "Xena, it's beautiful. Thank you." Xena tied the necklace around Gabrielle's neck and placed a kiss there. Gabrielle turned to face Xena again and leaned in for another kiss. They kissed passionately and parted for air a few minutes later. "I want you" Gabrielle whispered seductively into Xena's ear.

"I want you too Gabrielle, so bad. But I know how much it means to you to wait." Gabrielle sighed and let her head fall on Xena's shoulder, with a displeased groan.

"You're right."

"As soon as we're married we will" Xena promised.

"Yeah."

"I love you."

"I love you too and I always will." They lay down on the bedrolls together and fell asleep in each other's embrace.


End file.
